I am here. I just do not want to speak. Not keen on small talk or trivial weather conversation. I have no wish to make believe everything is all right, nor do I want to make this a drama story. It is just that words are not coming out of my mouth and I do not feel the need or the will to make an effort. And no, I am not going to make things easier for you. It is my time to not think about the others (even if just in small doses and every now and then).